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In search of a thrill in life, Brian becomes a police dog. However, Brian’s drug-sniffing job leaves him addicted to cocaine, so he must go into rehab. When he discovers that the clinic isn’t helping, Brian decides to do a little soul-searching and leaves the family for parts unknown.
Brian moves to Los Angeles with his cousin after his drug rehabiliation and inadvertently becomes a film director. The family decides to visit Brian for support in his new career, though it turns out Brian is directing pornography. Not wanting his family to find this out, he tries to cover it up.
The toy factory at which Peter works is taken over by a cigarette company who hires Peter as the new president. He is then sent to Washington, D.C. as a lobbyist so they can create toys that encourage kids to smoke, and the entire family can’t help but enjoy the perks that come with the job.
Everything in town is destroyed in Quahog after a hurricane?except the Drunken Clam, which is turned into a British pub by a man who becomes the Griffins’ new neighbor. Meanwhile, Stewie tries to teach his new neighbor’s crass English daughter how to drop her cockney accent and speak properly.
Peter is intimidated by Chris’s larger penis and then becomes very self-conscious about his own manhood, joining a gun club to make himself feel more masculine. Meanwhile, Meg becomes a flag-girl, and when she is humiliated by the popular kids at school, Lois devises a plan for revenge.
On their wedding anniversary, Peter sends Lois all over Quahog on a scavenger hunt so he can go play golf. But when Peter gets struck by lightning and has a near-death experience, he meets Death again, who explains to Peter his marriage is in trouble if he doesn’t have a revelation, and fast.
Lois takes tae-jitsu lessons to fight back against the leafers (New York tourists) overtaking the town, but worries that her violence may be a bad influence on her family. When anger management only makes everyone even more angry, they engage in an all-out brawl to get it out of their system.
Meg applies for an internship at Quahog 5 (due to her crush on news anchor Tom Tucker), but so does the annoying Neil. When she is reluctantly driven to kiss Neil, he broadcasts the word of their “love” on the news. Meanwhile, a bully learns not to mess with Stewie when he steals his new tricycle.
Peter’s boss, Mr. Weed, dies during a dinner with the Griffin family, and the toy factory is demolished as a result. Now unemployed, and failing to find himself other jobs, Peter decides to live his dream of being a Renaissance fair jouster, where he must defend his family’s honor from his jerkwad idol.
After nearly two weeks of unemployment, Peter decides to begin a new career as a fisherman, but faces problems when he has to pay off a boat loan, so he tries to catch the bounty for a legendary fish. Meanwhile, Lois takes Meg to the beach for spring break, but Lois ends up having more fun than Meg.
Peter goes with Lois to visit her sister Carole, who is now pregnant, but alone since her husband walked out on her. Carole goes into labor and Peter helps deliver the baby. Caught up in the moment, Peter and Lois decide that they want another baby. Stewie however, does not agree. Stewie does everything possible to keep Peter and Lois away from each other, but when he is locked out of their room, he is forced to take desperate measures. Stewie ends up shrinking himself down to microscopic size and seeking out his sperm-brother inside Peter?s body. Instead of trying to kill his unborn brother Stewie and him unite to destroy Lois.
Chris chooses a robber out of a lineup, but after Peter accidentally tells the robber where the family lives, the Griffins are placed in the witness protection program. They are sent to the Deep South, where Chris makes a new friend, Sam. Peter questions the truth of a Civil War reenactment that showed the South winning the war, leading to Sam?s father forbidding Sam from seeing Chris. Upset, Sam runs away with Chris and kisses him on the mouth. Chris tells Sam that he doesn?t like boys and doesn?t like him in a physical sense. The FBI agents guarding the Griffin house in Quahog accidentally tell the robber the location of the Griffins. Sam reveals to Chris that she is not a boy, but a girl. Then the robber arrives in the South, about to kill Chris, but the towns folk stop him just in time.
Peter and Lois go to the Pewterschmidts for the weekend, bringing Brian along. Brian, meanwhile, has some ?issues? of his own to work out. Find out if Brian?s future is to make puppies or become ?less? than he is.
Chris gets a new job as the water boy for the basketball team. After being around the black players, Chris becomes a super-cool black dude in a white person?s body. Peter takes Chris to learn about his own Irish heritage at a museum. Chris later visits a library to look up his genealogy and is elated to discover that a black man (Nate Griffin) was part of his family. Peter tries to embrace his black culture by visiting a black theatre and club, but he doesn?t get it. When Lois? parents visit, it is revealed that the Pewterschmidts? ancestors owned Nate Griffin. The Pewterschmidts? give Peter money to alleviate their guilt. Soon Peter begins to suffer the discrimination of being black. While at a basketball game, Peter looks in the mirror and he sees Nate, who shows him that he has been selfish. Peter announces to everyone in the gym that he was a jerk for taking the money. He throws the cash in the air, and everyone scrambles to get their share, showing that all races are unified by greed. Meanwhile, Stewie plots to get rid of the head cheerleader so he can be on top of the pyramid.
Joe gets discouraged, losing his self-confidence, after he loses a thief in a chase. Peter wants to help Joe get back to his old self so he volunteers to help train him for the decathlon at the Olympics for handicapped athletes. Peter puts steroids into Joe?s drink, pushing Joe on to victory. Meanwhile, Stewie, Meg, and Chris fight over $26.
Lois loves the holiday season and is excited about decorating the house, opening presents and introducing Stewie to Santa Claus. Stewie, on the other hand, is completely paranoid about this fat man in a red suit who can somehow maintain 24-hour surveillance on all the world?s children! Peter, sent to drop off one gift to Toys for Toddlers, accidentally gives all the family?s presents to the charity. When he and Lois hit the mall to rebuy everything ? they are caught up in the last-minute shopping madness. Lois and Peter are completely frazzled, but Lois clings desperately to the hope that they can still have wonderful Christmas. That hope is dashed, however, when they arrive home to find Brian, the house and the Christmas turkey burned to a crisp. Lois finally snaps and goes on quest to snatch the star from atop the city?s huge Christmas tree. Only Stewie?s motivational speech as the baby jesus (and a tranquilizer gun) can bring Lois back down to earth.
Brian falls in love with a bitter old woman who he is forced to do community service for. Meanwhile, Peter grows a beard and finds a family of swallows have built a nest in it.
When Brian expresses his interest in theatre, Lois tells him to try out for the Quahog School of Performing Arts. During the audition, Brian turns in a mediocre performance and is dismissed by the judges. Stewie, determined to get Brian a second chance, throws a melodramatic fit. The teachers, impressed with Stewie?s theatrics, enroll him in the rising stars program. Stewie doesn?t realize he is struggling at the school until he overhears his teachers discussing how he and Olivia, the school?s most promising but overly haughty student. will be asked to leave if they don?t shine in the quarterly review. Stewie tells Olivia that they must put on the performance of a lifetime or they?ll get kicked out, and their routine is a hit. Stewie and Olivia become fast friends, but the harmony ends when competition, pressure and fast-fame set in. Olivia walks off the stage mid-routine, leaving Stewie to finish the performance. Stewie takes his act solo, but is booed everywhere he goes. Meanwhile Meg finally gets a boyfriend, a boy from an all-American family. There?s only one problem with this family though ? they?re nudists.
Lois runs into an ex-boyfriend while shopping. Knowing Peter would be jealous, she has coffee with him behind Peter?s back. Peter, while hanging with the guys in Joe?s new police surveillance van, spot Lois. Angered, Peter tries to make Lois jealous by having prostitutes pose as his old girlfriends. After a marriage therapist suggesting a trial separation, Quagmire makes his move on Lois, and Peter goes on his own date? with actress Jennifer Love Hewitt. Meanwhile, Stewie and Brian become superglued together, and must deal with each other waiting for the solvent to arrive, and actually warm up to one another.
Stewie is addicted to the British hot children?s show ?Jolly Farm Review? based on Mother Maggie, a benevolent figure who looks after kids on a farm. Brian makes fun of Stewie for watching the show, but Stewie is determined to visit Jolly Farm in England because he thinks he belongs there. He stows away on a British Airways jet, which he assumes is headed for London. Brian tries to drag Stewie off the plane, but before he can, the plane takes off. When the plane lands, they discover that they are in Saudi Arabia are stranded in the middle of a desert with no passports or resources to get out. As luck would have it, Brian and Stewie encounter a Comfort Inn in the middle of nowhere and manage to steal a hot-air balloon to fly home, but the contraption falls apart over Italy, just as the Pope is about to address the masses. Brian wants to head home, but Stewie insists on finding the Jolly Farm in England. When they finally get to England, Stewie runs onto the set of the show. His fantasy is crushed when he encounters only a set full of props and disgruntled people, including Mother Maggie. Meanwhile, Lois and Peter travel to KISS-stock, where Lois embarrasses herself because she doesn?t know the lyrics to a KISS song. She redeems herself though when it?s revealed that she once hooked up with band leader Gene Simmons!
In a special three-story episode, Brian reads viewer mail and tries to answer profound questions:
?Li?l Griffins?
The Griffins as the little rascals. Kid versions of Peter, Joe, and Brian decide that they don?t need girls. When they first meet Lois however, they quickly abandon their anti-girl sentiment. In school, Lois reads a book touting the virtues of bravery, and Peter and Quagmire try to prove who?s the bravest by staying in a haunted house overnight.
?No Bones About it?
Peter rubs a beer bottle and a Genie pops out to grant him three wishes. Peter first wishes that Jackie Gleason wasn?t dead. A zombie-like Gleason terrorizes the Griffins until Stewie blasts it dead. His second wish is for his own theme music. Peter then wishes he didn?t have any bones. The Genie transforms him into a gelatin blob and he can no longer have sex. Upset, Peter flushes himself down the toilet and winds up in Hollywood. He meets a doctor who tells him about a re-boning procedure. Peter gets the operation, which turns out came from bones donated from his own family.
?Super Griffins?
A tanker truck containing radioactive waste slams into the Griffin house. The radiation affects each Griffin in a different way. Lois gains super strength while Peter has morphing ability. Lois tells her family that they must not abuse their powers. Of course that doesn?t work and the town is forced to hold a meeting to see how to stop the Griffins from wreaking havoc. Adam West realizes he must fight fire with fire. He volunteers to roll around in toxic waste but he only gets lymphoma as a result. The Griffins, racked with guilt, use their powers to make Adam?s recovery more comfortable.
The day that Peter buys volcano insurance is the day that Lois becomes fed up with their constant money problems. When Peter wishes for a Jewish ?money guy? to help them, Max Weinstein comes to the rescue. After meeting Max, Peter decides Chris could be successful if he converted to Judaism as soon as possible, but the plans for a ?quickie? bar mitzvah in Las Vegas are quickly foiled by Lois.