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Peter loses his job after drinking too much at a stag party and falling asleep at work. He signs on to welfare to keep Lois from finding out, but gets much more than he expected. Lois finds out anyway, so he tries to dump the money over the Super Bowl, but is arrested and must await his family’s rescue.
While teaching Meg how to drive, Peter crashes into a satellite dish and knocks out the city’s cable. He begins to go crazy without TV, but finds a new life in outdoor activities, which drives the family crazy in turn. Meanwhile, Stewie plots to destroy the world’s broccoli.
Peter allows Meg to attend a friend’s party the same day as Stewie’s first birthday, which upsets Lois. Little does Meg know that she is attending a cult party. The cult leader follows Peter when he picks up Meg, and is mistaken by Stewie as the doctor who he thinks is plotting to put him back in the womb.
Peter punches a pregnant woman he thought was a man during a soccer game and ends up being placed under house arrest. Restless, Peter builds a bar in his basement where Lois ends up stealing the spotlight. Meanwhile, Stewie attempts to build a time machine to avoid the pain of teething, and experiences his first alcoholic misdemeanours.
Peter is initially annoyed when Joe Swanson moves to Quahog, Rhode Island from Providence, Rhode Island but is forced to recruit him for his company’s softball team before realizing he’s a paraplegic. Nevertheless, Joe wins the game and the hearts of everyone else and becomes a hero, driving Peter to become a hero himself.
Peter takes the family to New York to reinstate Chris into the Youth Scouts after he is kicked out. But when Peter makes a pit stop at an Indian casino, Lois develops a gambling habit that costs her the family car, and Peter must go on a vision quest to prove his Native American blood and get it back.
Brian swallows his pride when Peter convinces him to join a dog show so they can win money for a new air conditioner. But after an argument over a trick gone bad, Brian realizes he’s a second-class citizen and runs away from home, but his fight for his civil rights lands him in the pound on the death row.
Lois is appointed the director of Quahog’s theatre company after the former director dies and attempts to produce The King and I. She appoints Peter as the producer to keep him out of her way, but his plans to recreate the play send him on a power trip that replaces her as the show’s director.
When Peter and Chris’ favorite TV show is cancelled, Peter pretends Chris is terminally ill and tells the “Grant-A-Dream Foundation” that his “final wish” is to get the show back on the air. When Chris doesn’t die, however, Peter goes too far and declares himself to be a healer, starting his own religion.